Ep 8- Racing against Time

Hello and welcome back to Being Meraklis a podcast by Shwetha Sivaraman.

Hope you all are doing great. My week went by quickly with more than half the week spent nestled amidst gorgeous snow-capped mountains. I can still remember the chill running through my bones when I recorded my podcast last week. But I am back to Bombay and Back in action.

Here we are already in the last month of 2019. December always makes you feel like the end of the era doesn’t it. Another year almost gone in a whisper. You catch yourself caught between wondering where on earth the past year went by and all that you wish to conquer in the coming year.

I am no fan of December, if you’ve read my blogs thus far, you would know – I have an entire rant on Medium on how I believe this undue pressure on a New Year New Me makes no sense. If you haven’t read it yet, drop me a ping me on social media and I’ll share that link with you.

But I am digressing. The challenge is that as much as I know December is hyped up, the pressure we feel is real. The pressure of constantly racing against time and the excruciating exhaustion that comes with it.

Life feels like a race against time. I find myself running – all the time, panting, out of breath, with no sight of the finish line. I tell myself we get through this and then we can relax. All I need to do is steer myself through this stretch of bendy curves and then its all straight as an arrow from there. I told myself that lie in 2007 for the very first time, 10th boards. Then came 12th boards, college entrances, placements, college entrances, internships, placements, work, work, and more work. So much so that I have lost track of time.

Every time it feels like respite is around the corner, something new comes up and you again get caught up in the same slew of engagements. Until we find ourselves gasping for air, where we need to break away from everything familiar just to breathe. We sneak away as far as we can fund ourselves to travel just to find ourselves, re-align, re-orient, gain perspective. To implore a little deeper in the whys and hows, a reminder of the good things, of companionship and comraderie, of light-hearted laughter, of doing silliest of things.

My trip to the mountains was exactly this. A breather from the madness, a pause. My husband and I actually planned a day to think in between our trip, think about the future. Think about what next? What really is next? But after two days in the mountains we realized that’s all we keep doing.

We keep planning, dreaming of a better tomorrow, waiting for that blessed day to eventually come. There is always so much to do, so much to see, so much to read, that anything we attempt to do still feels like we are but scraping the surface of the iceberg. We are rarely even conscious in this run, with just a focus to get things done, we run with blinkers on until one day we wake up and realize we lost the most important thing to the past.

We keep running with urgency while we let the most precious commodity of what we have in our hand – the here and now slip through our fingers every single day. Time.

Its almost as if we want to skip to the ending of the book to know the climax without going through the motions. But in this case skipping to the end would mean skipping life itself in the process – Is our curiosity and anxiety worth the price of our lives in the process?

The trip to the mountains made me realize this constant running needs to stop. This whole what next needs to stop. Instead of asking where I see myself in 5 five years, I realized I should be asking what I should do now so that in 5 years of time when I look back, I feel like it is all worth it.

I am not saying you should not have a plan. NO of course not, as humans if we are not consciously steering ourself in a planned direction then we are probably wasting precious intellect.

By all means have a plan, but do not write the end line in stone. Allow the plan to evolve with you over time. Instead of fixating on one result, allow it to grow bigger and better as you and your perspectives change. Instead of driving yourself up against the wall to achieve something by such and such a date assess yourself on all that you have done right and what you can do to get better. Most of all, stop anxiety from snatching away your attention on what matters most today.

So these were the things I actually did to shake off my anxiety and this constant pressure of racing against time.

Firstly – Contemplate – Where does your time go on a usual day? What all are the activities that consume your time, energy, and mind space. How much of this is actually relevant? Are all of them productive? Can some be skipped ? If so what are they? Is there something you should be spending your time on to secure a better future that is not being covered as of now- If so how can you include it?
Then, Evaluate – If you observe closely, we do not get drained doing all these activities everyday. While I took a clean pause from work during these 4 days, I had absolutely no issues waking up at 1 AM in a hotel room where it was 2 degrees outside to record the podcast. Some activities drain you while some others rejevenuate you. Identify how many drainers you have got and evaluate if you need them still in your life.

Lastly, plan for restorative creative breaks in your daily schedule. Something I realized, I never used to do in the past. Creative activities were always allowed only if time permitted. But I realized the importance of scheduling it – To actually earmark and pencil a creative break in. It could be writing, reading, a run in the park, or listening to podcasts – Whatever it is – make time for that everyday just as you make time everyday for your work – It is just as important – Plan rest where you do nothing.

Most of all remember it does not matter what year it is- Life is a journey and does not need to be changed overnight. It could be 2019 or 2020 – Transformation happens gradually. So for all those who feel like you are racing against time with impossible countdowns till December 31 or larger than life plans to begin 2020 with– Take a breather and Instead work on something that is everlasting irrespective of the last digit of the year.

Thank you for tuning in,
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This is Shwetha Sivaraman signing out hoping you have the best of moments in the coming week.