Ep 74 – It’s not them, it’s you

Who’s responsible for your life? Parents? Family? Society? Frenemy? or You? Have you caught yourself blaming others, situations and circumstances, luck or fortune, for where you are in your life today? We play the victim card and sit on our hands, wondering why life is not turning out the way we hoped it would.

If that’s you too then, this episode is for you. Hi, you’re listening to Own your every day in the Being Meraklis Podcast, and I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman. Today we’re going to talk about responsibility and who really is responsible for our lives.

There are 3 types of people in the world:

People who blame others – Others are responsible for all the things that are wrong in their life. Others can be parents, spouses, a specific friend/boss/mentor, or a nameless society.

People who blame circumstances – These are people who blame their miseries on external situations. “Luck never favours me” “This always happens to me.”

And, lastly, people who take complete responsibility for their life, circumstances, and future. People who respond no matter the situation with everything in their control.

If you haven’t guessed by now, success and peace of mind belong to the last category because no one outside us is responsible for our life experience.

Like Byron Katie says in loving what is “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”

When we shirk responsibility, we give away the control to create our lives as well.

Think about it, if you take responsibility for a mistake at work, you also take responsibility for fixing it and correcting it. The same rule applies in our life; when we start to take responsibility, we become in charge of our own lives. Life begins when we realize we are responsible for everything – our happiness, sorrows, successes, and failures. It is us and only us who are genuinely responsible.

When we stop blaming external situations or others for our life situation, we immediately shift our gaze inwards, which is the only way true transformation happens.

We misunderstood what the word responsibility is – it simply means the ability to respond. In all circumstances, we always have this ability to respond. You may or may not have the energy, resources, or time to take action, but responsibility is still in your hands.

There will always be external circumstances beyond our control but how we react to them is still within our control. I am responsible for complaining about how unfavorable the situation is and wallowing in my self-imposed miseries. Or I choose to accept and adapt to the changing circumstances. Our reaction to situations and life is within our control, and this defines our life experience. It can be a sweet ride filled with joy and love or a miserable experience filled with annoyance and disappointment.

How to practice limitless responsibility in your life? Whenever you find yourself unhappy or irritated in a situation, try and understand your thoughts behind it, there might be a blame-game undercurrent to it. Identify the patterns and realize you have the freedom to respond consciously. A simple reminder that “I control my reaction to any situation and that my responsibility is limitless,” can do wonders. It will hurt to admit it the first few times, and you will not like it. But over time, it will become second nature.

So here’s your own your everyday tip for the day, whenever you catch yourself complaining about someone else or some external situation for a problem in your life, stop and say I am responsible for everything. Keep consciously reinforcing that until responding to circumstances no matter what comes naturally to you, and therein lies true freedom and peace of mind.

If you want to read more such tips on life and living, I’ve released an E-book, 11 Fundamental Truths on living a good life – the link to which you can find across all our social media handles. It’s available at no cost, just drop in your name, email ID, and the book will be available for download straight in your inbox. However, if you do like the content we create here at Being Meraklis, there’s a link to contribute after you’ve downloaded the E-book. You can feel free to contribute any amount you deem fit to support our future content creation efforts.