Ep 64 – Qs to reflect on when dealing with uncertainty

The last year has been challenging and confusing for many reasons, but mostly because of the sheer uncertainty we’ve all had to encounter in our personal and professional lives. Constant worry about health & safety, our job security, our lifestyles and wondering about what is going to happen next has incapacitated most of us from thinking clearly.

Hello and welcome back to the Deep Dive series of the Being Meraklis podcast and I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman helping you ask the right questions.

Today, we are going to explore uncertainty and reflect on how we can deal with not knowing what the future brings with elegance and grace.

While uncertainty has always been a part of our lives, COVID has taken it to a whole different level. Many aspects of our lives have been turned topsy turvy and we seem to be spiraling out of control to newer lows with every month the lockdown gets extended. Trust me you’re not alone. This is something we are all encountering as we navigate through this crisis.

But like the Roman philosopher Tacitus rightly observed that this desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise. If uncertainty is unacceptable it becomes fear. If its acceptable it becomes aliveness, alertness, and creativity.

So if you’ve been finding it hard to deal with uncertainty, here are some questions to reflect on to gain that acceptance

1. Am I doing everything possible to tackle what’s within my control? Often uncertainty leads to uncontrollable anxiety as we keep envisioning what-if scenarios and continue living in our heads. The problem then is that we are so lost in our own psychological drama that we fail to do what’s possible even within our control. So if your honest answer is no, there’s more you can do that’s within your control, pen down a plan to get cracking on it.
2. Ask yourself where are you holding on to excess attachment? Where can you detach yourself a bit more? Like Jiddu Krishanmurti says, “One is never afraid of the unknown. One is afraid of the known coming to an end.” We don’t know what the uncertainty brings, what we are afraid is letting go of what we know today, the lives we lead, and the comfort we get from knowing how things work. Detachment liberates us with the realisation that the things we are attached to aren’t a part of our identity if we chose not to. So your job, designation, and other external variables must be held with some distance to find peace within.
3. How can I accept this uncertainity that’s a part of my reality today? You see a lot of this fear of uncertainty comes from resistance. You’re resisting the acceptance of your current reality. You can do this only when you mourn the aspect of your reality that is no more, when you mourn what can no longer be. Say you’d planned international travels this year that got jeopardised due to COVID – process the emotions that come with the plans getting derailed. Mourn the loss of the potential trip, so you can move on and accept the reality. This is just one example. There might be many, but explore how you can be more accepting of your present situation.

Lastly know that uncertainty is the part of life. Look around you in a forest, a deer doesn’t know whether a tiger will attack her when she’s going out to the lake to get some water. The birds in your colony don’t know where there next meal is coming from. Our jobs, our health, our financial stability, and our lifestyles don’t come with guarantees either. The deeper your acceptance of the fragility of our lives, more peace you can make with the daily upheavals and live blissfully.

Deep dive on these aspects the next time you feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and find answers within! If you’d like more 1:1 support with me as your Coach, reach out to me for a 30 min discovery session and let’s explore if self-awareness coaching can help you look inwards and design a life that helps you thrive no matter the external circumstances.