Ep 39 – Dealing with Social Media

 

 

Here’s what you can expect: 

• 01:11 – Addiction to social media and it’s consequences
• 03:19 – Is technology the real issue?
• 05:06 – 4 Ways to manage social media 
• 09:26 – Tips to get started to take control of your time

 

A world of likes, shares, upvotes, comments, and follows. If there’s one thing I’m deeply grateful for is to have been born in the year I actually did. Before the smartphone boom and the social media madness. I know of a time when there was more to friendship than sharing stories on birthdays. I know of a time when good times were just experienced, not captured. I know of a time when you were judged only by who you were in real life and not the count of followers. I know of a time when actions counted more than tall ideals and intentions.

But that memory is soon fading away. The more we wake up to the informational overload in terms of notifications and social updates, the more we go down the rabbit hole of no redemption. 

Today the lines blur between truth and untruth, making it harder to discern what’s important and what’s not. We judge an individual based on his/her online presence even before we exchange a word with them. We judge ourselves every time we click on social media and consume stories of someone else’s life and pressurize ourselves for not doing enough or being happy enough.

I read this online somewhere and it felt on point when it said:

“Existing in a digital space comes with a particular pressure to maintain an online identity, and after some time, this can be burdensome.”

The more we communicate over screens, the lesser we connect with our friends, family, and ourselves. We are so much more focused on projecting ourselves in a certain way that we forget what really matters, this piece of life off screen.

I get it, how addictive it can be. I have been there myself where I spent 6 hours or more on the screen. It is an easy distraction for you to let go of all the small worries. But it adds zero value to your life in reality. 

But it’s not the technology that is to blame. Advancements in technology have improved the quality of our lives in ways beyond imagination. My words would never have reached your ears if not for these technological innovations. What has happened is that we’re yet to train our minds on how to deal with this constant source of information. 

Remember our brains are wired for survival and evolution, so it’s constantly aroused by new information. It needs to be updated on environmental changes and movements so as to preserve the physical body from any external threats and danger. That’s how our minds view every notification ping or every time you hit the refresh button on your feed to see new posts. But you and I both know that there’s no life- threatening or life-altering content on the other end of the click now. It’s just more of the same old content. But our minds remain aroused 24*7 and that drains away our attention and energy needed to focus on tasks in hand. The more time we spend in the realms of the online world, the more out of sync we get with reality.

So, how can we use technology and still preserve our sanity and get things done? 

Here are few things that have worked for me: 

   #1. Disconnect time and again 

Social media can be stressful. Staying connected 24*7 is going to cause you overwhelm no matter how hard you try. No one can be our best or optimistic self, online all the time. And lets admit, even those who specifically portray that they are keeping it real are only projecting a side of themselves that they know is acceptable to the medium. And it is alright, we don’t have to prove we can be vulnerable by disclosing things that are private to the world either. All of these are artificially created pressures so let it go. Remember that you can turn off notifications, delete apps, spend time reconnecting with yourself without affecting your work or your relationships. 

In fact, I recently launched an e-book detailing out all my digital detox strategies to frequently disconnect, reduce screen time, and take control of our time. It is free of cost and can be downloaded from the Being Meraklis Website. Download it and experiment with a few strategies in your life. Believe me even a few hours of no screen time can uplift your mood like no other.

   #2. Detach from your projected identity

Be able to discern that what you show here is just a part of who you are. It’s easy to attach who we are to these projected identities, but then dealing with it becomes hard when our real self pops in and it always will pop in every now and then. Spend time reflecting and knowing yourself better in reality so it doesn’t come as a rude shock and learn to accept yourself. Know that your social media presence is but a part of you and can never be the whole. 

This also helps in dealing with insecurities of lesser followership, internet trolls, hate comments, as you can detach these attacks from the rest of your identity. 

   #3. We all have our shadows 

Its easy to pretend that life is rosy online but we all have our dark sides and shadows that we sometimes refuse to admit to ourselves let alone to our loved ones or project online. Learn to accept the shadow part of you too and work on it rather than overlooking it. 

For me my shadow is my insecurity, I constantly fight self-doubt – I’m not good enough or I’m not doing enough or I’m not achieving results fast enough. And constant comparisons to highlight reels of other’s lives during this time can deplete the already low reserves of self-esteem you are running on. 

Avoid social media and restrict information flow on these days, and learn to counter and work through your inner demons to get some lasting peace. 

   #4. Build deeper connections offline 

This is my favorite tip. Surround yourself with genuine people who wish you well and will keep you grounded no matter what. For me whenever I feel low, I know I can pick up the phone and laugh out loud irritating my sister or having a conversation with my parents about the most ridiculous things. My husband and I can go on for hours cracking self-deprecating jokes or talk in depth about things that leave us stuck and disheartened. I know there are friends who will show up in whatever way they can when I reach out to them for help. These things matter more than anything else in the world. I wouldn’t trade a hug for a million followers let alone anything else. 

And, validation and progress in real life can stop you from being distracted and chasing superficial goals. Feeling that sense of belonging, being able to trust people, keeps you centered constantly on what matters most.

Start with small habits.

First by becoming self-aware, how much time are you really spending on social media? How much of this is draining and avoidable?

Two, identify spaces where you need time for deep work and keep your phone away during those times. IF you’re not too addicted you can keep it a little away from your desk and still be productive. However, if you’re too addicted, keep it all the way in a different room – The harder you make it to reach your phone, the lesser you’ll try to go get it and start aimlessly scrolling again.

You can check out the Being Meraklis Ultimate Guide to Digital Detox to know more tips on how to stay away from the social media vortex and get more done. 

I run an online business and still maintain a healthy relationship with social media too. It can be constructive if used well. So don’t blame it on the technology or the algorithm, the choice has always been and is still yours. Make it count.

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