Ep 21 – Managing the self in a world of chaos

The last 8 weeks have been unlike no other in history. So much negativity, so much uncertainty, so much chaos, so much fear. We are not sure what comes next. The air in this year has been a series of negative events – forest fires, a pandemic, brilliant actors dying, no IPL to beat summer blues, no travels, racism, economies collapsing, and what not. It’s a lot to deal with, as I list them out right now I can feel the heaviness. Each news bringing us to our knees, leaving us wondering what life truly is, what its worth is, and that too multiple times in a day.

Like the real issues aren’t enough, humans add complications to reality. There’s a lot of noise in the world, everyone with their own opinion, yelling at the top of their voices, but very little clarity. We all want to be heard, but no one wants to listen. The lines between truth and everything else blurs. You read some facts and are triggered in one direction, only to realize there’s more to the story and truth is completely different, and you are back on an emotional roller coaster but this time in a different direction. News is nothing more than gossip – with everyone sharing what’s convenient and aligns with their narrative and shows them in a good light. Leaving nothing that can be taken at face value any longer.

The last few weeks I have been triggered on countless occasions, my emotions have gone up. Rising in anger and rage at the helplessness of the entire situation, and down in the dumps wondering what the point of it is all in sheer hopelessness. Despite my best intentions not to get sucked into world affairs beyond my control, these events affect me forcing me to ask myself how is so much injustice in the world acceptable. We cannot help feeling angry, mad, annoyed, helpless, there’s so much confusion and it can affect so many of us personally.

But I was tired of being constantly strung and that’s when I started to question deeper – How can I hold my ground unwavering despite all the chaos around me? It is after all natural to feel each of these emotions, but I wanted to feel them without allowing it to affect me. I wanted to be able to manage myself better in these maddening times, to be a bit more stable, a bit more grounded internally as I figure how to deal with the external chaos.

And here are a few things that have helped me bring a semblance of control in my life as I tried surviving the mad rush in today’s world:

1. Awareness – Be aware of what causes that trigger in you – understand that not everything affects you the same way. Some things affect you more than others – understand what they are, how they trigger you, notice patterns if any, and ensure you are not caught off-guard when these emotions rise up in you.

2. Acknowledge – As Mel Robbins says the feelings are natural. It is natural to feel flustered, angry scared, anxious. These feelings are natural, acknowledge them for what they are but stop there.
It shouldn’t dictate how you act, the more you react from a place of confusion, the further your outcome shall be from what you actually wanted to achieve. So take time to process these emotions, feel them as deeply as they resonate with you, but let go of those that do not serve you immediately and ensure it doesn’t affect your actions.

3. Detach – While I know it is not as easy as it sounds, practice detaching yourself from things in the external world and work. because in releasing our attachment to external chaos that is not ours, we relieve ourselves of the burden of the internal chaos that we create for ourselves.

Let your focus remain purely on action – What can you do today? What can you do in this moment? What can you do differently to make this moment better than the one before?

4. Practice stillness – Quieten the mind as much as possible and do it as often as possible. A lot of times we respond to the present from a place in the past – what I mean by this is that when our minds are clouded and anchored in the past or the future and we are triggered, we end up reacting from a place that is not relevant in the present anymore. We react with our past baggage that only makes things worse in the current situation.

Know that there will always be things beyond your control, but keep the spirit of hope alive that things will get better. With every step you take in the right direction, hope that you are getting one step closer to making things favorable in your environment around. In a world where everything seems senseless and out of control, hope can be your strongest weapon that could lead you to victory.

Find that inner balance and keep yourselves anchored to it, no matter what happens around you.
I’ve realized that if we can get our inner alchemy to be anchored in what we want to achieve for ourselves, not just in the short run – But really rooting it deeply in our core values and beliefs, we can make ourselves resilient to remain unshaken and sail smoothly to our destination, despite the rocky winds around us.

When our inner life could be in harmony and complete we stop fluctuating and oscillating between confusion and clarity. Your actions and goals become clearer and you know what you need to do to achieve that and are determined only towards getting there and the external chatter automatically dials down. Try them out and let me know how it goes.