Ep 132 – The counterintuitive obsession for legacy

I often hear clients tell me they want to leave behind a legacy. A legacy that’s larger than life, that creates a positive impact in the world, and is remembered generations after generations. That’s the dream! They’re willing to work night and day for however long it takes to leave this lasting impression. Some even go on to say, till my dying breath I want to keep doing this because that’s how important this is. The passion is commendable but what makes us obsess over legacy is a question I’ve often wondered. If you’re curious too, listen in as we break down legacy, why we obsess over it, and whether it is the noble pursuit we claim it is.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Own Your Everyday series of the Being Meraklis podcast. I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman back with insights and micro-practices you can use in your busy lives to Own Your Everyday. In today’s episode, we will examine our obsession with leaving behind a legacy, our motivations to do so, and how the very act of legacy is counterintuitive to life and living.As a writer, I get the desire for legacy. Years after their passing away, we still revel in the beautifully crafted prose by stellar thinkers like Jiddu Krishnamurti, Henry David Thoreau, and Henry Miller. Their words still strike a chord, tugging at our heartstrings, despite the time that has passed or the contexts that have changed. It’s the dream for most humans, to create something of value, to leave a mark in this transient world in one small way or another, and to be remembered in a positive light much after our time.

If that means we must write till our hands bleed at the wee hours before dawn so be it. If that means we must stretch ourselves above and beyond sacrificing sleep, relationships, and our own health, we are willing to go the extra mile, because to be remembered, and remembered well is important. We are willing to engage all our breaths, energy, and attention in the illusionary future of someday being recognised as having mattered. To have our presence and existence validated in some unknown and uncertain future.

This is not some exceptional desire some of us hold, but a universal one derived from a very animalistic urge to have been significant. It is a morphed manifestation of the primary fear of death all of us as humans experience. It is fear of disappearing into oblivion. The fear is so innate and intense that we are willing to compromise everything and anything today in the hopes that we are remembered.

Remembered by whom? For how long?

Let’s unpack the word legacy. Legacy is in our context what we leave behind for future generations. So in a way while we overemphasise legacy, it’s not really for us, but for those who come after us.

Legacy then is memories of the past and a few moments in the lives of a few humans who come after us. If we are the lucky few who get to be remembered. In this transient and ever-changing world where nothing is permanent, I question even the durability of our legacy.

To me, it feels like air writing on water. Neither does air have the strength to maintain the waters the same way nor does water have the structure stability or permanence to stay that way forever. It’s a meaningless pursuit. Foolish even.

What happens to our legacy when those handful of humans who remember also pass over? Would all this grind, restlessness, toil, and anxiety to leave behind a legacy still be worth it?

The real price of legacy

The real price of legacy is that it robs us of today. In pining for a future moment that could or could not happen we lose precious today that’s unfolding here and now. We are in a rush to get to a destination faster and faster.

But if we rush through life, what are hoping to meet? If there’s one thing certain in our lives it’s our mortality. So when we rush through life, aren’t we simply rushing to meet the inevitable end?

This egoistical chase for a larger-than-life legacy is a contradiction in itself, a vicious self-defeating loop where we kill the creative life process for an inanimate and fictitious legacy. We voluntarily run from the warm precipices of life into the cold arms of death. For we are letting go of something precious today that is assured and guaranteed for something frivolous tomorrow that is transient and temporary.

What can we do instead?

Live a great life. We can live life with all our presence and involvement and make the most of the time we have on this planet. If we get remembered after our lifetime, that’s a bonus. A byproduct of a well-lived life, nothing more, nothing less.

When we let go of our manic obsession with a legacy we can begin to see reality for what it is and truly appreciate life for all that it has to offer here and now.

We could spend all our lives chasing the elusive tomorrow that is so full of promise and impact. But our experience of life will be fragmented, as only a part of us is in the present and the rest of us is floating in a non-existent future time.

We can experience life fully only when we immerse all of who we are right here right now, and when we do we realise that simply being alive, breathing, and getting to do the work we do today is a miracle in itself.

We are conditioned to associate our self-worth with what we do and how much we accomplish, when in fact our mere existence in this magnificent world with all our quirks is a miracle in itself. There can be no larger wonderment than our very existence in the macrocosm of the cosmos.

Like Henry Miller says, “We live on the edge of the miraculous every minute of our lives. The miracle is in us, and it blossoms forth the moment we lay ourselves open to it.”

But let me not get all poetic.

If you’re still pining for that elusive legacy, it’s time to redirect the obsession to making wiser choices today about how you’d like to spend your time, energy, and attention. Release the pressure to do something to be recognised in some future time. The great life can only be experienced in the here and now. Not tomorrow or years from now. The real legacy then is who you are today, how you treat others, what you engage with, and how you feel at the end of each day.

You must be wondering, if not legacy, what can I do it live a grander life? The answer is in the question – ask yourself what makes life grand for you. What are those little things you value and cherish? The activities that you engage in make you go to bed feeling fulfilled and satiated. Fill your life with those activities and people who make you come alive. Engage in living every moment fully, experience the highs and lows with the same humility and grace, and savour the little things.

So there’s your own your everyday tip for the week, Legacy is a byproduct of a great life. Redirect the obsession of leaving behind a legacy and channel it to live a phenomenal life here and now. The real legacy is being fully present and experiencing life for all that it has to offer.

Until we meet again, this is Shwetha signing off hoping you have a phenomenal week ahead.

---