Ep 95 – How to live it up in the 20s

I turn 30 years old in a day, and the last few months have been full of reflections, doing things instead of dreaming about them and culling out things in my life that I didn’t see a future.

Hello and welcome back to another episode in the own your everyday series on the Being Meraklis podcast. This one’s no insight on life and living but a personal sharing of my reflections on the 20s and some perspectives for 20-somethings to maximise this glorious decade as I stand at the cusp of a brand new decade.

I remember thinking 30 was a significant number as a kid like when I reached there, I’d have accomplished and conquered the world by then. So it’s funny as I sit here and realise I am turning 30 tomorrow but still feel like a beginner ready to start afresh.

Here are some ideas on living it up in the 20s based on my reflections

1. The 20s is a great time to explore – The outer world, yes, but the inner world more. As the world outside gets increasingly complex and inundated with more options, we need clarity on what is for us and what is not for us. That doesn’t come from the outer world. It comes from a more profound knowledge of self. So using every experience in the 20s to learn more about yourself is a great way to set a foundation for the years to come.
2. Explore on your own dime, not on your parents. I see many youngsters in their early 20s in the mountains wandering, trying to find their calling, while parents foot the bill for their self-discovery. While it’s mighty benevolent of parents today to do that, there is no skin in the game for you. The urgency to find yourself is lost without it. So put your neck, body, mind, and whole soul at stake to bring that urgency to your actions.
3. It’s a time to sow seeds, not reap results. The 20s are also the age where we expect instant results and gratification. We don’t want to be a writer. We want to be New York Times best-selling author – Ah, this one still hurts me personally. But it’s a lesson I’m learning the hard way. The 20s are not the time to reap results but to sow seeds. The 20s is just the beginning – you’re laying the foundations for the upcoming decades, so it’s essential to keep ourselves from flying up in the air and stay grounded and do the hard work.
4. When I turned 20, I thought I had a fair idea of who I was. By the time I turned 25, all my thoughts were shot down to hell, and I thought I’d finally arrived. At 30, I realise the answer to Who Am I is a bottomless pit of self-discovery. Your idea of who you are and what you stand for will keep evolving. If we try to force an answer and hold on too tightly to our first thought process, we will remain forever stuck. Instead, let it evolve.
5. Don’t do anything because everyone else is doing it. That’s the worst injustice you can do to yourself. Sure, you’ll stand out from the crowd and even be the butt of many an evening joke. But stay rooted in who you are. The exact reasons they laugh at you today will be why they look up to you in a matter of years.
6. Growth is painful. Books and movies romanticise growth and self-discovery to be some rosy peachy sunflowery process of sunshine, light, and love. But that’s not true. Change in real life feels confusing, random, challenging, and unpleasant. It’s not linear progress but a roller coaster of ups and downs that eventually takes you forward. Growth is painful no matter what stage we are in. Instead of giving up when it becomes unpleasant, all we need to do is stick with it. Stay in the presence of challenges, confusion, betrayal, and defeat and use every experience as a stepping stone for higher growth.
7. Stop neglecting the m-word. I had a terrible relationship with money for most of my 20s. I hated the thought of finances, discussing numbers, saving, investing, you name it. Only in my very late 20s did I realise this valuable lesson that the sooner you do the tedious job of managing your finances, the more comfortable and grateful you’ll be in your later years.
8. Don’t take yourself so seriously. the 20s is when you can be carefree adults. You’re independent, not bogged down with family responsibilities for the most part and can simply have fun. For most of my early 20s, I wish I had a bit more fun. Have fun, make mistakes, learn from them, know yourself deeper, surround yourself with people who push you to improve, and make the most of it.

Experiment is the name of the game in our 20s. The stakes are low, and we have adequate optimism, energy, zeal, and ambition to pursue our dreams. It would be a shame if we wasted that to toe society’s imaginary expectations of us. Be bold enough to back yourself up in your 20s and go wild.

With that, I’m off to count my many white hairs and call it a night at 9.30pm before I turn 30! This is Shwetha in her 20s signing off one last time. Until we meet again, here’s hoping you have a fabulous week ahead.