Ep 88 – How to manage roadblocks that comes in the way of intentional living

So you set your intentions and start your path towards living life by design, but then life happens. You fall ill, your boss puts you on a cross-functional project that you cannot say no to, you lose steam or hope or motivation. You go back to your old ways of autopilot being. And you get even more frustrated and give up or lose momentum. Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. In this episode, we will talk about managing obstacles and roadblocks that come in the way of living life by design.

Hello and welcome back to a brand new episode on the Own Your Everyday series. I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman. This episode is the last one in our 4 series on living life by design. We began with signs to identify if you live life on autopilot, then went on to the big question of where we start and identified 5 steps and a bonus 6th step to start creating our life intentionally.

But let’s be honest, no matter how good our intentions are, our routines can get disrupted, we can find ourselves not in a position to do the things that are in service of our highest self and lifetime dreams. And in this episode, I’m going to share my strategies of how I don’t let life (when I say life, I mean obstacles, roadblocks, people, bottlenecks, and my own motivation) get in the way of living my best life.

Are you ready for it? Here we go

1. Plan for failure

People often think I’m a pessimist when I ask them to plan out what they’ll do if they fail in their intended routines or habits even before they get started. But this is a strategy that has worked wonders for me.

Is one of the steps you’ve identified for living intentionally, walking 10000 steps in a day. Now right below it, write down what you’re going to do on days or weeks you don’t do it.

It’s not pessimism; it’s being honest. There will be situations where you’re not going to live up to your ideal day/routine. Say there’s a personal emergency in the family, a third cousin’s wedding, or an awful day at work. You’re going to miss hitting your goals on such targets, and being prepared and having a plan for failure ensures you bounce back real quick.

So a plan for failure might look like I’ll eat a no-carb dinner on days I miss 10000 steps to compensate. This is just off the top of my mind, but figure out plans of action on what you’ll do that day and how you’ll manage before and after so you’re not caught off guard

2. Aim to make minimum viable progress

Say your visualisation of your best life might be that you weigh 20 kgs lesser, have 20 times the money in your bank account and create an impact that’s beyond your wildest imagination. While it’s great to hold that vision if that’s your starting point, you’ll overwhelm yourself and quit even before you begin.

So break it down to something even more straightforward, something that’s so easy to do, like, say, 1 push up a day or saving 100 rupees a day. Things that are so easy to do that you cannot fail. And as you get more consistent, keep adding to your intensity to scale it gradually.

3. Aim for flexible consistency

We often have this all or nothing approach. Have you ever done this? Said you’ll go to the gym 5 days a week – you start off strong, and then one Monday morning you miss it. You don’t go the entire week because you anyway missed one day?

And this derails our progress more than anything else. Like James Clear says, it’s not the first time you break the habit that’s the problem; the real damage happens when you break it twice or thrice in a row.

So instead of aiming for a flawless 365-day track record, aim for flexible consistency. Both words are equally important. You’re consistent as far as possible, but in unavoidable situations, you’re flexible and won’t beat yourself up. This leads us straight to point number 4.

4. Don’t beat yourself up.

Our first reaction when we fail is to go down the rabbit hole of “I’m such an idiot.” “I cannot even get this right.” “I am such a failure.” We all have heard these downright nasty comments of our inner critic before that makes us feel like crap. And when we go down this path, we guilt and shame ourselves making it harder to hold on to a routine or a habit or an intentional life.

So say you missed intentional living one day; practice self-compassion instead of beating yourself up. Extend the same understanding and empathy you would to a friend who’d have messed up the same way.

I always say this, be your best friend. We cannot expect ourselves to live our best lives with an inner voice of a headmaster admonishing and punishing us for every tiny mistake or missed effort. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself cause you deserve it.

So here’s the own your everyday tip for the week, don’t be afraid to get started on living your best life. Plan for failure, break down your goals, aim for flexible consistency, be your own best friend, and simply become unstoppable. Want more support? Book one of my free coaching sessions, and let’s brainstorm together.

This is Shwetha Sivaraman signing off until we meet again, hoping you have a fabulous week ahead!