Ep 76 – When you don’t know what you want from life

Do you find yourself confused, frustrated, and angry cause you don’t know what you want from life? You’ve come a long way, achieved many things, and probably find yourself bang in the middle of life clueless about what next? Where to from here? Why haven’t I been able to figure things out? If you’re at this place and are not sure how to move forward, then this one is for you.

Hi, you’re listening to Own your every day in the Being Meraklis Podcast, and I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman. Today I’m sharing tips on how to navigate not knowing what we want from our lives.

Often we hit a plateau in our lives and don’t really know where we need to go ahead. Having had our paths laid out since childhood nursery to primary school to middle school, high school, college, college, and job. That a few years into our job we might catch ourselves wondering what next? We weren’t prepared on what we do once we land that dream job. We weren’t mentally prepared to handle the stagnation or the feeling of repetitiveness once we arrive here. And we certainly weren’t told the game plan of how we should spend the rest of our lives once we arrived here.

The first thing we need to realise when we hit this point is that,

We are not alone

No one at any age and at any success has their life all figured out. That’s pretty much the point of life, to be able to live with ease and grace not knowing what the next moment brings, let alone tomorrow or the next year. So not having it all figured out is normal and common, don’t beat yourself up over it.

Second, get clear on what you don’t want

Knowing what you don’t want can be a great starting point to eventually discover what you truly desire. Like Oprah says, “Knowing what you don’t want to do is the best possible place to be if you don’t know what to do. Because knowing what you don’t want to do leads you to figure out what it is that you really want to do”

Are you clear a career in IT is not for you? Excellent, start from there.

Third, imitate

Is there someone you admire? Someone you believe has it all figured out and creates envy or jealousy in you? That could be a starting point to understand what your desires are. Your jealousy of others is a great indicator of what you truly desire. And until you have it all figured out, you can start by imitating someone you admire.

Fourth, reflect

What brings me joy? We all have moments where we are in this state of pure joy, where the passing of time is meaningless, where we forget where we are or who are. Make a list of those things and see if anything sparks more interest

Would your 8-year old child be proud of where you are today? We often dismiss our inner child, but they’re smarter than they get credit for. If you go back in time you should be able to discover what made that 8-year old smile ear to ear and there are very good chances that the same act will make you smile ear to ear today.

Do a visualisation meditation (find any good one on Youtube) and fast forward to when you are 60 years old and reflecting back on your life. What are the highlight reels you see? Who are the people around you? What are the moments you cherish at the end of your days? These are all clues that can help you create a life around things that matter most to you. Come back to today and see what needs to change to get there.

So here’s your own your everyday tip for the day, whenever you find yourself unsure of what to do next in life, know that its okay to not know. Live with the questions and rather than feeling anxiety about not knowing. Instead rewire it to be excitement that you look forward to figuring out through experimentation.

If you’d like more such reflections, sign up to our weekly email list where I share my thoughts and musings every Friday. DM me at beingmeraklis or sign up on www.beingmeraklis.com/subscribe.

Until we meet again, this is Shwetha Sivaraman signing off hoping you have a fabulous week ahead.